Dating my daughter jokes
In Song of Solomon 8:8–9 we hear a family’s hope that their young sister will grow into a woman of strength and dignity. I’m amazed and saddened at how often I hear young single guys say of bright, gifted single women, “Wow, she’s so strong I don’t think I could lead her.” At which point, too many bright, gifted single women begin to consider ways to “tone themselves down” or “soften themselves a bit.” Raise a strong daughter, even if—no, especially if it means potential suitors question whether they can “lead her,” whatever that means to them.
Can you guess what metaphor they use to describe that kind of woman? Their sister assures them in verse 10 that she is indeed a wall, complete with towers. You’ve just identified those suitors as ineligible, without so much as an application process.
The boy started off, "Hi, my name's Chuck --" and the farmer shot him.
Yesterday Rachel Held Evans shared a question from a reader wondering how to teach her daughter modesty without giving her a complex — that is, “without it becoming about hem lines, guilt and worthlessness.” As the parent of a 3 year-old girl, I wish I had the answer. I’m telling her that she’s my property and not her own person. But the fact is, for centuries women have been told they’re someone else’s property — their fathers’, their husbands’.
Her statement indicates assurance that she is not only strong, but also able to defend herself against any unworthy suitors. Here’s the problem with shotgun jokes and applications posted on the fridge: to anyone paying attention, they announce that you fully expect your daughter to have poor judgment. And don’t be shocked if she meets your expectation. Leadership is not about the strong looking for weaker people to lead.
You might want to worry less about terrorizing or retro-fitting prospective suitors and worry more about preparing your daughter to choose wisely. Instead of intimidating all your daughter’s potential suitors, raise a daughter who intimidates them just fine on her own. It’s about the humble looking for those whose strengths offset their weaknesses and complement their strengths.
But here’s a hard reality: if you raise that daughter, she’ll likely intimidate her fair share of “nice Christian boys” as well.
The unsuitable suitor finds nothing more terrifying than a woman who knows her worth to God and to her family.
Those are the bricks that build the wall that withstands the advances of Slouchy-Pants, whether you ever show up with your Winchester locked and loaded or not.
" Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.
The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door.